bobby, bears and bicycles
I suppose it's only right to begin with a tale of bare stupid. RFK Jr. (and I cannot overemphasize the junior) out falconing, sees a lady hit a bear cub with her car and drive away and decides to investigate. Does something crazy happen next like the angry mama bear attacks? No, that would have spared us all from this grizzly tale.
Was he considering mouth to mouth resuscitation? We'll never know because he was hungry, and deemed the damage slight, so he scooped up the carcass to butcher a bunch of bearcub burgers before he flew out of town that evening. Of course he had an important dinner to attend, so he put Yogi Jr. in the trunk and drove into the city, as one does.
Later that evening, after everyone but him had a few drinks, they're trying to find a place to dump this dead bear. Naturally Central Park came to mind. Thing is, when he looks in the trunk to retrieve the cub, amongst the junk and roadkill he sees an old bike and a helmet about the bear cub's size. Perfect! Selfies first though.
To the bottom of a hill he drags the stiff bear body to a tree, rams the bike into said tree for effect, and puts the Spiderman bike helmet on the cub's head crooked.
Unfortunately this and so many other adventures were stored in the part of his memory that was ingested by his brainworm Lennie, and nearly lost forever. But as luck would have it Lennie the brainworm felt obligated to preempt an upcoming NYT report by divulging the entire episode. Turns out the Central Park idea was Lennie's, and he'd been blackmailing RFK Jr. with those selfies of him with the bearcub posing like he was getting a BJ.
So obviously getting brainworms is highly discouraged, as it can lead to the exploitation of innocent roadkilled bear cubs and the mocking of bike safety campaigns. Just say no.